Do you ever use a product for a period of time, and then, it just kind of stops working? Like a favorite shampoo or conditioner? Well, this Degree deodorant has quit on me. It just doesn't last the whole day like it should. I begin to smell, what the man and I affectionately refer to as, "a little French". Yeah, I know that is not a terribly politically correct thing to say, but I do mean it affectionately. Really. Honestly, I tend to agree with people that Americans are a little too obsessed with deodorants, germs, etc. I don't really mind my smell, but I would like to earn it first, you know? Like if I don't shower for 2-3 days, I expect to smell a bit and that's fine. You can even sort of delight in the natural-smelling funk, I think. But a deodorant, by its very American nature, should last more than 4-5 hours in my opinion. I think it has something to do with this Invisible Formula not having as much oomph as the regular Degree. It was time for something new.


That said, on our recent trip to the grocery store, I bought some different deodorants. I saw that Degree had changed its look -- its probably the same shit in a new package -- but I am optimistically hoping that maybe they have improved the invisible formula and it will go back to working for me. I am giving them another chance to continue deodorizing my fabulous armpits because this one is "little black dress approved". Alrighty then, I ask you, how could I go wrong with that?


In the meantime, I also thought I would try out something completely different. I have seen the commercials for this Dove deodorant in which the "real women" tried it for 7 days and their underarm skin was softer, smoother when shaving and the deodorant was also not leaving any white crap on their clothes -- as evidenced by the voluntarily sporting of their current shirts inside-out for the cameras. Wow. Sounds good to me. But, another factor I consider in buying any new products (tell me if you do this too?), I have to smell-test things before I buy. Yes, you will find me in the grocery store aisle, popping off one deodorant top after another and smelling them to make sure they are not too "perfumey", or what I like to call "whoofy". I do this with shampoos, hairspray, whatever. I think it is a form of Product OCD that I do not want to be counseled for. I absolutely hate the intense baby powder smells of many deodorants. I dislike smells that are so strong that they would overpower what little perfume/cologne I may decide to wear that day. I like a nice mild scent that only smells when I choose to stick my nose in my armpit and smell it directly. (You know you do this, too. Don't lie!) So, I tried this new Dove Cool Essentials with Cucumber and Green Tea Scent, and, I am L-O-V-I-N-G, loving it! I have been smelling my armpits off and on all day and it has a perfectly mild, hardly-there scent, that smells great...oh yeah, and it has worked all day...I am not French at all! I endorse this product thus far. It remains to be seen how irresistibly soft my armpits become as a result of its ongoing use. I'll let you all know.

Now, everyone, go smell your pits! Fly that freak flag high! You know you wanna...

Labels: advertising, female, funny, girl stuff, products, testing

Oh, if only I were independently wealthy...you'd be on your way from Ohio to my loving arms NmG! *sighs*

See what this little cutie is all about at the Myers Motors website.

Labels: butterfly, cars, current events, cute, Earth, EcoFriendly, products, web, wishes

Apparently, I am not the only abuser of Vicks VapoRub out there. However, unlike Aunt Jackie (see yesterday's comment section), I have never eaten Vicks -- I am strictly a "sebaceous nasal abuser" of the substance. As part of my recovery program, I am required to do this Public Service Announcement on the proper usage of Vicks VapoRub...



According to my jar (and the Vicks website), the DIRECTIONS FOR USE are as follows:

See important warnings under "When using this product."

* Adults and children 2 years and over:

• Rub a thick layer on chest and throat or rub on sore, aching muscles.
• Cover with a warm, dry cloth if desired.
• Keep clothing loose about throat/chest to help vapors reach the nose/mouth.
• Repeat up to three times per 24 hours or as directed by doctor.

* Children under 2 years of age: Ask a doctor.


Other Information

* Store at room temperature.

Questions? Call 1-800-873-8276.

Okay, that's all fine and good, but I still fail to see how a child under 2 years of age can:

1. Read these directions.
2. Call a doctor.
3. Assuming the fucking receptionist will ever actually put the doctor on the phone, is a baby really articulate enough to ask the doctor any questions about the use of this product by someone his/her age?

Hmmmmm? Moving on.


The WARNINGS are as follows (I have made bold the particular sections of interest that relate to the forms of product-abuse engaged in by Jackie and me ):

For external use only; avoid contact with eyes.

Do not use:

• By mouth
• With tight bandages
• In nostrils
• On wounds or damaged skin

Ask a doctor before use if you have:

• Cough that occurs with too much phlegm (mucus)
• Persistent or chronic cough such as occurs with smoking, asthma, or emphysema

When using this product, do not:

• Heat
• Microwave
• Add to hot water or any container where heating water. May cause splattering and result in burns.

Stop use and ask a doctor if:

• Muscle aches and pains persist more than 7 days or come back
• Cough lasts more than 7 days, comes back, or occurs with fever, rash, or persistent headache

These could be signs of a serious condition.

If pregnant or breast-feeding, ask a health professional before use.

Keep out of reach of children. If swallowed, get medical help or contact a Poison Control Center right away.


©2007 Procter & Gamble. All Rights Reserved. All copy and claims valid only in the U.S.

I must say, I had never considered microwaving my Vicks before, but...

And, I love the fact that "All copy and claims valid only in the U.S." So, if I am in say, France, I could do ANYTHING with Vicks VapoRub (including putting some on my pooper, for freshness) because none of these warnings would apply there! Awesome.

Of course, it does not surprise me at all that I am an abuser of Vicks VapoRub -- considering Jackie's history of eating it until the age of 30 -- we come from the same maladjusted, Vicks-abusing family. I am quite sure that her older sister, aka my Mommie Dearest, was probably the one who fed it to her for the first time, as their mother probably did to her...Yes, my own mother started me on the path to my greasy-nosed nightmare.

But, there is help out there. Pick up the phone and call the 1-800-number. You'll be glad you did.


/end P.S.A.



[Disclaimer: I make no promises that I will not nasally abuse Vicks VapoRub in the future. I'm just sayin', if I have a bad cold, I may use again. I'll let my sponsor deal with it when the time comes...Thank you.]

Labels: adult, aunt jackie, butterfly, childhood, colds, comments, funny, lizzard, mom, products, sickness, VicksVapoRub