Friday, November 30, 2007 --- Kneel before the Temple of Coldness...and get your wax worms here!

Behold! Our glorious new Temple of Coldness...If you follow me on Twitter, you'll know that we recently had a refrigerator breakdown at the Butterfly Cocoon. Our kind neighbor, Teresa, took in our wayward food for temporary storage across the hall so that we wouldn't lose everything. Initially, the apartment maintenance guy, who showed up at our door to check the old monster, said he would need to replace the fan motor (I think?) in the morning to get things running again. Of course, behind closed doors, we said out loud, "Why can't they just get rid of this energy-sucking-fucker and give us a new refrigerator like Teresa has?!?"

Well, I am pleased as punch to announce that they did just that! Three nice men came in, cleared out the old, rolled in the new, and even helped put away what little non-perishable food we had left in the old dying beast. Magnets and pictures have now been replaced on the new magical fantastical Whirlpool.

I especially love the clear drawers that let me see exactly what is in there at all times. Nothing is worse than forgetting about some random vegetable purchase, only to discover some weeks later that you have a drawer full of rotten celery or cucumbers...Ick! [OK, yes, there are worse things -- like heinous rape or murder -- but, in terms of refrigerator things, you get the idea... ]

Now, I am sure there are you nosy little bitches out in Cyberland who are going to zoom in and examine the contents of our refrigerator. And, you are probably going to say, "Hey Butterfly, what's with the container of LIVE WAX WORMS?" Ewwwww.

My longtime readers will know that the worms are a special treat for our amphibian friends -- specifically, our two Australian White's tree frogs. Usually we feed all of our frogs crickets, but occasionally, I will hand feed these guys a few wax worms. I don't feed wax worms to the three Cuban tree frogs (not pictured) because those frogs are too fast and nervous to be held and fed. If you drop the worms into the tank, they will just dig themselves into the soil, never to be seen again. So, it requires holding the worm in front of a lucky frog's face to be snatched in the moment. These two frogs at left, known collectively as "the Bung Monkeys", are very happy to be held and fed. Because they are fat and slow. *heeheehee*

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Friday, November 23, 2007 --- Moments in the Butterfly household...

This cute little bitch...

...decided that mommie needed to play the world's largest game of Pick Up Sticks. Thanks, Nutmeg!

Here is the magic happening in the oven yesterday -- it was delicious and we are going to eat it again tonight...Yum!

Since it has gotten colder again tonight, we are going to have a fire later. We went to the National Gallery of Art in DC today with the man's visiting momma and we are exhausted.

Hope you all are having a great holiday weekend -- and for my non-American reader friends -- Happy Full Moon (Saturday)!

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Monday, November 19, 2007 --- Felt like a spiffing up was in order...with NEW and IMPROVED Banner Action!

I was tired of my old banner -- it was boring me -- hence, the new one! Hope you all likes...if not, too bad. I also added a subtitle for the fun of it, changed my email envelope, and am considering changing the "About Me" text, but I haven't decided what to say yet. Another day.

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Saturday, November 17, 2007 --- The Infectious Music of Cansei de Ser Sexy...without the annoying commercial.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007 --- A Virtual Meal by a Virtual Fire...for my friend, C.Wess Daniels in California!

Chicken with portabella mushrooms, sun dried tomatoes and farfalle pasta -- served with a glass of Smoking Loon Pinot Noir...

By the fire as a "virtual meal" for my friend, C.Wess Daniels and at his other place on the net, here.

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--- What Google Analytics and my Feedjit tells me about visitors...

Who would have thought that my posts about facial symmetry studies (here and here) would bring so much weird "" traffic to my blog? Honestly, I think people must spend hours just looking for naked pictures of Amber Valletta and Amber-Valletta-look-a-likes on the internet -- because that's all they seem to be looking at when they come here from Germany, Philippines, Slovenia, Malaysia, etc.

Sure, I know where most of the real readers come from:

Hello California! Hello New York, Vermont, Illinois, Texas, Oregon, New Jersey, Washington, Indiana and Virginia (those are my top 10 reader states!) England? Hello Newcastle upon Tyne! Hello London, Pontypridd and Wembley! Canada? Hello Vancouver, Regina and Mississauga! And many others I haven't listed here. Hiya!

But then, it starts to get weird...Tell me, person in Kuwait -- did you find what you were looking for on The Butterfly Blog?? Of course, I should have known that a link to tassyPink or a passing reference to splosh porn would bring a few unexpected visitors...LOL! But tell me, why do a search for "sarah jessica parker nostrils"? "ahhhh push it push it"? "crooked smile after chin implant"? "loestrin birth control pill peculiar smell"? Really? "Dry+aching+armpits!" Ouch. "Does a butterfly have a nose"?

I must admit, that last one really intrigues me. In my opinion, questions like that are worth asking because they show a natural curiosity about the world around us. Bravo, I say! Go on, girl, with your Entomological-bad-self! However, why someone thinks I should have any "female pug dogs menstruation information" I'll never know...

What I do know is -- yep, last time I checked, I have a nose. [But, that's probably not what you meant, my Googling friend, huh? Sorry.]

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Wednesday, November 7, 2007 --- Diane Keaton makes me positively nuts...How about you?

Diane Keaton has really been getting under my skin lately. Well, maybe it's been longer than just lately. I think this has been going on for some time now, but I just can't put my finger on exactly when it started. Let's has been off and on for about two years? Maybe.

Anyway, you might be wondering, "How does Diane Keaton make the Butterfly crazy?"

I could say it has something to do with her need to make every character she portrays on film gesticulate like a psychotic mime addicted to amphetamines. It seriously makes me want to grab her god damned flailing arms and strap them to her sides with duct tape...But no, that's only part of it.

I could also mention the positively shrill and hysterical quality that her voice takes on whenever one of her characters is having some sort of neurotic breakdown. Because I mean, really, can you think of any part she has played over the years that did not incorporate this performance?? I honestly think that she is not playing parts anymore, but rather making extended-cameo appearances in films as herself. Except, it's more than that...

I could talk about her perpetually bad posture and how she sort of slouches while jutting her hips forward in a most irritating way...Is this her body's idea of an endearing pout for the spine? It's not sexy, stop it, stop it right now! My former ballet teacher, Ms. D'Aubray Goncharoff would be appalled and promptly throw Diane out of her class if she saw this crap.

I may point out -- what I strongly suspect might actually be written into her contract -- a stipulation that all of her costumes are to involve numerous clothing layers above the waist, ridiculously voluminous skirts and a copious helping of scarves. She looks so bundled and uptight that it makes me constipated to look at her on screen. And, this wardrobe issue brings me agonizingly close to the one thing that makes me most insane about Diane Keaton...

Have you ever noticed that this woman has a serious, serious, SERIOUS addiction to belts? Not just belts, but belts so wide that they'd almost be suitable for use during weightlifting? Diane, dear, you need help. Step away from the belts!

For example, I was watching Because I Said So tonight on cable. On a whim, I decided to count how many times she wore an insane belt. [You can try this same game yourself with any of her movies, like a fashion drinking game!] And, I am positively alarmed to report that she was wearing a belt wider than 2 inches (more like 3-4 inches!) count 'em -- on NINETEEN separate occasions, with the exception of ONE time where she had a belt that was approximately 1 1/2 inches wide, and another scene in which she was wearing her belted bathrobe (which may or may not count, technically) -- all in the same film! That's TWENTY-ONE extremely-belted moments. Jesus Christ. I think she was wearing no belt in perhaps five (?) scenes...not much more than that, I assure you.

Boy, let me tell you, Diane can work a belt into ANY situation. She can NOT do Formal Wear without a menacing belt (as seen in the first two pictures above.) She will do it over a thick series of shirt layers (third picture)...she will do it over blazers and coats (fifth picture which is actually a real life occurrence - but you can just as easily see the same thing in Because I Said So too!)...And last, but not least, her crowning achievement? At left, incorporating a huge belt into a wedding gown -- which by the way, also makes use of the bundled-buttoned-shirt-with-scarf motif!

Listen lady, I'm all for a signature style. But, fuck. Change it up once in a while, will ya? The Annie-Hall-thing had to be phased out of all women's wardrobes at some point, now you need to phase out this "crazy Diane" business, too. Really. It's time.

[ Photo credits: Picture #1, Picture #2, Picture #3, Picture #4, Picture #5, Picture #6 ]

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Thursday, November 1, 2007 --- My man is a slug...

Meet my man is a slug. No, of course, I am not living with an actual terrestrial gastropod mollusk! But sometimes, it feels like I am. Before you misunderstand me, I am not trying to say that the man is slow...or lazy...he's not! No, he is a wonderful guy who is kind, funny, extremely handy fixing things and he has a very cute butt. However, he is very much like the slug pictured at left in one particular aspect of his daily life...

He leaves a slime trail wherever he goes! Here is some evidence that he was in the kitchen recently.

Don't see what I mean? Scroll down to the closeup picture below.

Now, do you see it? This made me laugh -- so much so that I have decided to preserve his handprint for a few-days-more-worth of chuckles -- before I whip out my Orange Clean to wipe it away with a rag for good.

There was a time that this kind of thing would have infuriated me. As I have matured, I see these things as an opportunity for increased household humor. I know he appreciates my decision to laugh instead -- which is why he is willing to be such a good helper whenever I occasionally ask. The best advice I can offer to others who find themselves frustrated by such things is: You'll both live longer healthier lives the more you laugh at and enjoy these differences. Besides, no one loves a nag.

[The slug photo was borrowed from here.]

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________ - THE BUTTERFLY BLOG - Copyright ©2007 Vanessa Lee Hamlen. All rights reserved.

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About Me

I am a graphic designer. I love animals and have quite a few pets. There is a frustrated DJ inside of me --- hence, my ongoing obsession with making music mixes.

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Musical Goodness

-- Music from Butterfly's personal library --

LORI'S LABOR: A collection of 6 unique playlists with varying intensity and mood for your listening pleasure! I created these original mixes for my friends to use during the labor and delivery of their first baby, Nicholas.

You can visit their blog here: ---> The Bridenstines!

Listen to my comical, purposefully nasal, total HAM-job submission to the 2007 Blogger Christmahanukwanzaakah Online Holiday Concert in the mini-player above!
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