The Butterfly Blog

Trying to publish again -- so that I can share some news!

2008-07-26T22:10:00.005-04:00

Test, test, test... I will be starting a new WP blog for myself sometime soon, complete with a whole separate domain name, since blogger refuses to publish to my FTP anymore. I may convert this blog into Wordpress and migrate it -- or I may leave it here and start fresh. Not sure yet...

But the new one will be at www.iamvanessa.com

I will be back, despite Blogger's serious bitch slapping of my blog. Now, PUBLISH, MOTHER FUCKER!!!

I don't know how to balance blogging and a job outside of the house...I'm a failure!

2008-02-27T21:20:00.011-05:00

I am having a bitch of a time trying to balance blogging and working outside of the house. It sucks because I was so regular with posting...now I just feel like a failure who can't manage her time. But the thing is, I'm doing laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping, etc. with whatever free time that is not taken up by sleeping and watching the few highly necessary television programs we like to watch each week. Ugh! In addition, I have a freelance website job going on -- for a certain Pilates studio in New York -- which I am very excited about -- but again, less free time for me and me-blog when I get home each day. Ah, well.

The other thing that has made me actually avoid blogging is my ongoing frustration with Blogger mistreating me and my post publishing process. I know that the best solution is to migrate to dynamic blogging (i.e. Wordpress) -- and I WILL do this! But, F*CK! I just don't have the time right now...so I avoid...because Blogger can't piss me off if I don't blog!

One thing that we have been having fun with is KITTY CAM. I got a web cam for Christmas (which works independently from a computer -- just hooks up to our home network) that allows us to watch our cats when we are not home...or when we have our backs turned and we want to see what those little f*ckers are doing when we are not looking. Plus, their Grandma really likes to check in on them from Connecticut -- just to see how fat they are or to watch them playing. I don't know why I enjoy this so much, but I do. It's like I'm producing my own Feline reality tv show! Here are some still shots from the KITTY CAM as an animated GIF -- of Noodle the Cat.

Hey BLOGGER, have I mentioned lately that I hate your guts?

2008-02-10T11:28:00.000-05:00

Blogger won't completely finish publishing my blog -- which means it's uploading incompletely and not updating all of my posts. I can tell that this is happening (aside from the obvious of them telling me) because the 02/2008 archive page gets published first and on it I have 2 comments for the previous post -- but on my main index page, it says I have 1 comment. Put it this way, Blogger is very unkind to FTP-uploading bloggers who made their own templates. I am getting so fed up with this crap that I am seriously thinking about creating a Wordpress blog -- except the amount of work involved with migrating and template modifications, well, quite simply, the thought makes me ill.

FOR THOSE WHO EXPERIENCED DIFFICULTY LISTENING TO THE SONG FROM MY PREVIOUS -- YOU CAN HEAR IT HERE: http://www.vanessaleehamlen.com/blog/joan/

[It seems as though the closing embed tag keeps getting dropped when publishing -- which makes the song player not want to work in Mozilla -- probably cock-sucking-Blogger's fault...What else is new?]

So I ask ask you all...How easy is it set things up to publish with Wordpress instead of Blogger? I want to publish to my own hosted domain and I want to use my own template. And, unlike Blogger, I don't think that the entire blog needs to be republished every time I post a new post -- because the bigger the blog gets...you get the idea. How does publishing with Wordpress work/differ?

The comments are open!

It's been so long...since I've seen you, my old friend...

2008-02-03T21:18:00.000-05:00

I have missed my poor blog. I didn't realize how close we had become...until I couldn't spend time with it? (Do blogs have gender identities? Hmmmmm. Perhaps that could be a future post topic...) Anyway, in pondering my remorse for being such a bad blogger -- a great song popped into my head about friends -- by Joan Armatrading.

Now, before you go and think I am in my late 40's or early 50's, I'm not. Of course, I have had grey hair since I was 19 years old -- so perhaps I have an old soul? That aside, I got into Joan as a kid because my mom used to listen to her all the time...as well as Maria Muldaur, Cat Stevens, Joni Mitchell, et al. Her "Me Myself I" album has long been one of my favorite selections to listen to when I am feeling moody and introspective. So, in honor of my good friend-blog, I'd like to share this great song, "Friends", with you all. Might I suggest a nice glass of wine -- or your favorite smooth spirit of choice -- before you listen? Joan's voice is deep, rich and strong -- I find that it kind of sinks into you like the heat of swallowing a luscious gulp of red wine...I find Amaretto di Saronno works well, too. Anyway, I've included the lyrics here for your enhanced enjoyment. I'll be back soon...thanks for hanging in there with me, everybody!

[ Sidenote: Congrats to the GIANTS!! Woohoo! You can take the Butterfly out of New York, but you can't take the New Yorker out of the Butterfly! ;-D ]

FOR THOSE WHO ARE EXPERIENCING DIFFICULTY LISTENING TO THE SONG -- YOU CAN HEAR IT HERE: http://www.vanessaleehamlen.com/blog/joan/

[It seems as though the closing embed tag keeps getting dropped when publishing -- which makes the song player not want to work in Mozilla -- probably cock-sucking-Blogger's fault...What else is new?]

Friends by Joan Armatrading

It's been so long
Since I've seen you
My old friend
I remember your eyes
How they would shine
Those crazy times
When you and I
Fooled around
I remember the time
You fell in love
Didn't know how
To say goodbye
To your baby
And you made me take
The goodbye note
Around
And that little girl
She cried and cried
And she asked me if
I knew exactly why
You'd gone
I told a lie
I said you felt
She'd be much happier
With someone else
But then you'd do
The same for me
Remember when
We stayed out late
We'd cause a fight
But we would never stay
To the end
I loved you then
I love you still
You know I think
I always will
You're a good friend
A good friend
To me
Who was it
Who came for me when I was
Stranded in the bad man's land
Who was it
Who put up bail for me when I was
So desperate to get out
Who believed with me
That I was not guilty
Who gave me beer when I was thirsty
And who gave me twenty-five dollars to hold

Experiencing Bloggus Interruptus...

2008-01-14T22:34:00.000-05:00

Dear Friends,

I have been neglecting all of you. It is true. Things have been a little hectic since I started my new job -- and when one is no longer freelancing from home, it is hard to keep up with a blog as easily as before. Once things have settled into more of a routine, I plan on getting back to posting regularly. But for now, I am experiencing Bloggus Interruptus.

Please, bear with me... Thanks!

-- The Butterfly

Things have been so crazy...Crazy Fun!

2007-12-26T23:48:00.001-05:00

I got some great loot...here's a sampling of it on our NEW table...Well, not actually new, but a great hand-me-down from my mom and her boyfriend! It just needs a little bit of repair to some of the tiles and grout, but it is perfect for our little dining area. I love it.

I got to play with this little dude (N.J.) on Monday night thanks to my friends, Lori and Michael, who made him!

On Christmas Day, we had a great time opening gifts and laughing...Here's the man saying, "Please, no paparazzi!"

And finally, I leave you with this absolutely hilarious video of my mom enjoying the free Venom mask that was included with the Spider-Man 3 DVD package. None of us could stop laughing -- she is quite a character, isn't she?

Moments of Light Around the House...and Depth of Berries.

2007-12-14T21:20:00.000-05:00

[ If you are going to swipe any of my pictures, I think we all know that the polite and righteous thing to do is to make sure you credit me for it with a link. If you don't, well then, you are a photo-thieving asshole and you should be shot... ]

A Tribute to Misfit Toys...Fly Your Freak Flag High!

2007-12-13T00:26:00.000-05:00

The Second Annual 2007 Blogger CHRISTMAHANUKWANZAAKAH Online Holiday Concert has been going strong all day!

2007-12-10T20:14:00.000-05:00

The concert has been a smashing success over at Citizen of the Month! However, Sophia, Neil and I needed to do some fast creative brainstorming earlier today...it was brought to my attention that the original yellow (gold) Star of David was not a good idea for historical reasons. I will not dwell on those reasons here (look it up on Wikipedia if you don't know the specific history) because I don't want to take away from the positive issue at hand -- which is that we actively pursued and came to an excellent solution! The *NEW* and *IMPROVED* Blue and White Glowing Star has been incorporated into the now revised logo design.

And, if you are here for the "Concert Buttons" -- you can now download the whole pack which includes the original 5 from my previous post as well as *7 Bonus Fashion Buttons* not pictured...Slightly different versions with shadows for depth and two with a "magical glow"!

Click the button below to get .ZIP file package!

ENJOY!!!

<---------- IMPORTANT NOTE! ------------>

FOR THE HTML CODE HELP ON THESE BUTTONS -- SEE THE BOTTOM OF MY PREVIOUS POST -- OR REFER TO THE READ_ME.TXT FILE INCLUDED IN THE DOWNLOAD PACKAGE. THX!

Do You Know What Is Happening Tomorrow?

2007-12-09T19:37:00.001-05:00

Well, if you don't know, you should! Neil Kramer aka "Neilochka" of Citizen of the Month (and twitter) is hosting his Second Annual 2007 Blogger Christmahanukwanzaakah Online Holiday Concert Extravaganza! What is this exactly? Neil explains it best:

"...It is now time to raise our voices in song again in this new holiday tradition. Hanukkah songs about miracles. Christmas songs about faith. Winter songs about the beauty of the season. Kwanzaa songs about new traditions. It is the 2007 Blogger Christmahanukwanzaakah Online Holiday Concert, right here on Citizen of the Month on Monday, December 10th (with a re-broadcast on Christmas Day). The concert is for YOU and by YOU — and this year will be bigger and better than last year..."

Basically, anyone from the blogging-community-at-large is welcome to share a recording of him/herself singing a favorite holiday song! It is meant to be fun...and possibly quite funny...as we all celebrate the great big inclusive Holiday of Christmahanukwanzaakah! Plus, if you are too embarassed to sing, Neil also welcomes photographs from bloggers to help "dress the set". It should be a great time. And, if you have never checked out Citizen of the Month before, you really should because Neil's blog is hilariously funny and incredibly well-written. [ I should hope so on that last part because Neil is a professional writer in "real life"! ]

That said, you'll be pleased to know that I have a submission in this year's concert. I sang "The Man With The Bag", a song that was originally recorded by Kay Starr in 1950. This song has always made me laugh because of its unapologetic theme of Christmas greed LOL! (Hence, my allusion to it in the sidebar where I have my Amazon.com Xmas Wish List!) Plus, I love the peppy big-band sound of it. As I explained to Neil, I don't have a particularly great singing voice...so I decided to really ham-up my submission in the hope that "really funny" would excuse "lack of talent". I recorded it with a clothespin on my nose so that it would be really nasal and then I tried to do a little bit of Ethel-Merman-like styling, although sans the great power of Ethel's voice. Anyway, I think it is pretty funny. I mixed it myself on the computer with an instrumental karaoke track -- not bad production value for being recorded in my home office. Join us at the concert and feel free to laugh at me and my song! I also submitted the "Winter Berries in Snow" picture from the previous post below as decoration for the concert so you'll probably see that too.

I also created the unsolicited artwork pictured above -- I was inspired by the idea of trying to create a logo design to incorporate the 3 holidays into a graphical image that was clean, attractive and symbolically cohesive. It was a great graphic design challenge! I used the three colors of Kwanzaa (black, red, green) -- the Christmas Tree symbols (which double as general holiday season/winter symbols too) -- and a ~~gold~~ blue and white glowing star of David -- as well as a blue background as another Jewish/Hanukah nod. I sent the graphics to Neil last night, but I still don't know what he thinks of them. He may or may not use them, but my real purpose was to create them for my own use to promote the concert because I think it is such a fun idea and concept that Neil has started. People are certainly welcome to borrow my button for use on their own blogs...I think it is kind of neat to have a "I participated in CHK 2007" badge for the sidebar so that blog readers can revisit the fun we had anytime and maybe become new participants for next year's!

[ I would love it if folks credited me for the button if they use it, but it's not necessary. Just leave me a nice word in my comments if you are going to borrow it! Share the love, baby. ]

Click the button below to visit Citizen of the Month:

<--------------------------- UPDATE 12/10/07! --------------------------->

Hey folks! I created this modified version button badge below (4 colors) that folks can also use in their sidebar -- year round if you like (!) -- to provide a link to the concert festivities any time. It's a nice way to thank Citizen of the Month for hosting this wonderful event...

You will need to host the button image on your own site and modify the code below accordingly. Here's the code you will need to use the buttons:
<a href="http://www.citizenofthemonth.com/2007/12/10/the-2007-blogger-christmahanukwanzaakah-online-holiday- concert/" title="Check out the 2007 Christmahanukwanzaakah Concert!"><img src="http://www.YOURWEBADDRESS.com/BUTTON NAME OF CHOICE.png" title="Check out the 2007 Christmahanukwanzaakah Concert!" border="0" /></a>

Today's Question: Whether to shit or go blind?

2007-12-05T15:29:00.000-05:00

See that beautiful tree with its orange and red leaves? Up until this morning, that tree was merrily going about its business believing that it was still Fall in Virginia. It has been so warm here, that our leaves changed very late and have been holding on to some of the trees longer than usual. But this morning, we had our first snow of the season...and let's just say that the poor tree doesn't know "whether to shit or go blind..."

It is very odd to be looking at the colorful foliage covered with snow...but the contrast sure is lovely!

I thought the berries on this tree were pretty, surrounded by the fresh new snow...Needless to say, it is a perfect day for hot beverages and wood burning in the fireplace.

Welcome Winter! You are beautiful.

Kneel before the Temple of Coldness...and get your wax worms here!

2007-11-30T14:57:00.000-05:00

Behold! Our glorious new Temple of Coldness...If you follow me on Twitter, you'll know that we recently had a refrigerator breakdown at the Butterfly Cocoon. Our kind neighbor, Teresa, took in our wayward food for temporary storage across the hall so that we wouldn't lose everything. Initially, the apartment maintenance guy, who showed up at our door to check the old monster, said he would need to replace the fan motor (I think?) in the morning to get things running again. Of course, behind closed doors, we said out loud, "Why can't they just get rid of this energy-sucking-fucker and give us a new refrigerator like Teresa has?!?"

Well, I am pleased as punch to announce that they did just that! Three nice men came in, cleared out the old, rolled in the new, and even helped put away what little non-perishable food we had left in the old dying beast. Magnets and pictures have now been replaced on the new magical fantastical Whirlpool.

I especially love the clear drawers that let me see exactly what is in there at all times. Nothing is worse than forgetting about some random vegetable purchase, only to discover some weeks later that you have a drawer full of rotten celery or cucumbers...Ick! [OK, yes, there are worse things -- like heinous rape or murder -- but, in terms of refrigerator things, you get the idea... ]

Now, I am sure there are you nosy little bitches out in Cyberland who are going to zoom in and examine the contents of our refrigerator. And, you are probably going to say, "Hey Butterfly, what's with the container of LIVE WAX WORMS?" Ewwwww.

My longtime readers will know that the worms are a special treat for our amphibian friends -- specifically, our two Australian White's tree frogs. Usually we feed all of our frogs crickets, but occasionally, I will hand feed these guys a few wax worms. I don't feed wax worms to the three Cuban tree frogs (not pictured) because those frogs are too fast and nervous to be held and fed. If you drop the worms into the tank, they will just dig themselves into the soil, never to be seen again. So, it requires holding the worm in front of a lucky frog's face to be snatched in the moment. These two frogs at left, known collectively as "the Bung Monkeys", are very happy to be held and fed. Because they are fat and slow. *heeheehee*

Moments in the Butterfly household...

2007-11-23T18:11:00.000-05:00

This cute little bitch...

...decided that mommie needed to play the world's largest game of Pick Up Sticks. Thanks, Nutmeg!

Here is the magic happening in the oven yesterday -- it was delicious and we are going to eat it again tonight...Yum!

Since it has gotten colder again tonight, we are going to have a fire later. We went to the National Gallery of Art in DC today with the man's visiting momma and we are exhausted.

Hope you all are having a great holiday weekend -- and for my non-American reader friends -- Happy Full Moon (Saturday)!

Felt like a spiffing up was in order...with NEW and IMPROVED Banner Action!

2007-11-19T00:25:00.000-05:00

I was tired of my old banner -- it was boring me -- hence, the new one! Hope you all likes...if not, too bad. I also added a subtitle for the fun of it, changed my email envelope, and am considering changing the "About Me" text, but I haven't decided what to say yet. Another day.

The Infectious Music of Cansei de Ser Sexy...without the annoying commercial.

2007-11-17T23:04:00.000-05:00

via videosift.com

A Virtual Meal by a Virtual Fire...for my friend, C.Wess Daniels in California!

2007-11-14T20:46:00.000-05:00

Chicken with portabella mushrooms, sun dried tomatoes and farfalle pasta -- served with a glass of Smoking Loon Pinot Noir...

By the fire as a "virtual meal" for my friend, C.Wess Daniels and at his other place on the net, here.

What Google Analytics and my Feedjit tells me about visitors...

2007-11-14T01:39:00.000-05:00

Who would have thought that my posts about facial symmetry studies (here and here) would bring so much weird "images.google.com" traffic to my blog? Honestly, I think people must spend hours just looking for naked pictures of Amber Valletta and Amber-Valletta-look-a-likes on the internet -- because that's all they seem to be looking at when they come here from Germany, Philippines, Slovenia, Malaysia, etc.

Sure, I know where most of the real readers come from:

Hello California! Hello New York, Vermont, Illinois, Texas, Oregon, New Jersey, Washington, Indiana and Virginia (those are my top 10 reader states!) England? Hello Newcastle upon Tyne! Hello London, Pontypridd and Wembley! Canada? Hello Vancouver, Regina and Mississauga! And many others I haven't listed here. Hiya!

But then, it starts to get weird...Tell me, person in Kuwait -- did you find what you were looking for on The Butterfly Blog?? Of course, I should have known that a link to tassyPink or a passing reference to splosh porn would bring a few unexpected visitors...LOL! But tell me, why do a search for "sarah jessica parker nostrils"? "ahhhh push it push it"? "crooked smile after chin implant"? "loestrin birth control pill peculiar smell"? Really? "Dry+aching+armpits!" Ouch. "Does a butterfly have a nose"?

I must admit, that last one really intrigues me. In my opinion, questions like that are worth asking because they show a natural curiosity about the world around us. Bravo, I say! Go on, girl, with your Entomological-bad-self! However, why someone thinks I should have any "female pug dogs menstruation information" I'll never know...

What I do know is -- yep, last time I checked, I have a nose. [But, that's probably not what you meant, my Googling friend, huh? Sorry.]

Diane Keaton makes me positively nuts...How about you?

2007-11-07T00:51:00.000-05:00

Diane Keaton has really been getting under my skin lately. Well, maybe it's been longer than just lately. I think this has been going on for some time now, but I just can't put my finger on exactly when it started. Let's say...it has been off and on for about two years? Maybe.

Anyway, you might be wondering, "How does Diane Keaton make the Butterfly crazy?"

I could say it has something to do with her need to make every character she portrays on film gesticulate like a psychotic mime addicted to amphetamines. It seriously makes me want to grab her god damned flailing arms and strap them to her sides with duct tape...But no, that's only part of it.

I could also mention the positively shrill and hysterical quality that her voice takes on whenever one of her characters is having some sort of neurotic breakdown. Because I mean, really, can you think of any part she has played over the years that did not incorporate this performance?? I honestly think that she is not playing parts anymore, but rather making extended-cameo appearances in films as herself. Except, it's more than that...

I could talk about her perpetually bad posture and how she sort of slouches while jutting her hips forward in a most irritating way...Is this her body's idea of an endearing pout for the spine? It's not sexy, stop it, stop it right now! My former ballet teacher, Ms. D'Aubray Goncharoff would be appalled and promptly throw Diane out of her class if she saw this crap.

I may point out -- what I strongly suspect might actually be written into her contract -- a stipulation that all of her costumes are to involve numerous clothing layers above the waist, ridiculously voluminous skirts and a copious helping of scarves. She looks so bundled and uptight that it makes me constipated to look at her on screen. And, this wardrobe issue brings me agonizingly close to the one thing that makes me most insane about Diane Keaton...

Have you ever noticed that this woman has a serious, serious, SERIOUS addiction to belts? Not just belts, but belts so wide that they'd almost be suitable for use during weightlifting? Diane, dear, you need help. Step away from the belts!

For example, I was watching Because I Said So tonight on cable. On a whim, I decided to count how many times she wore an insane belt. [You can try this same game yourself with any of her movies, like a fashion drinking game!] And, I am positively alarmed to report that she was wearing a belt wider than 2 inches (more like 3-4 inches!) count 'em -- on NINETEEN separate occasions, with the exception of ONE time where she had a belt that was approximately 1 1/2 inches wide, and another scene in which she was wearing her belted bathrobe (which may or may not count, technically) -- all in the same film! That's TWENTY-ONE extremely-belted moments. Jesus Christ. I think she was wearing no belt in perhaps five (?) scenes...not much more than that, I assure you.

Boy, let me tell you, Diane can work a belt into ANY situation. She can NOT do Formal Wear without a menacing belt (as seen in the first two pictures above.) She will do it over a thick series of shirt layers (third picture)...she will do it over blazers and coats (fifth picture which is actually a real life occurrence - but you can just as easily see the same thing in Because I Said So too!)...And last, but not least, her crowning achievement? At left, incorporating a huge belt into a wedding gown -- which by the way, also makes use of the bundled-buttoned-shirt-with-scarf motif!

Listen lady, I'm all for a signature style. But, fuck. Change it up once in a while, will ya? The Annie-Hall-thing had to be phased out of all women's wardrobes at some point, now you need to phase out this "crazy Diane" business, too. Really. It's time.

[ Photo credits: Picture #1, Picture #2, Picture #3, Picture #4, Picture #5, Picture #6 ]

My man is a slug...

2007-11-01T14:27:00.000-04:00

Meet my man...my man is a slug. No, of course, I am not living with an actual terrestrial gastropod mollusk! But sometimes, it feels like I am. Before you misunderstand me, I am not trying to say that the man is slow...or lazy...he's not! No, he is a wonderful guy who is kind, funny, extremely handy fixing things and he has a very cute butt. However, he is very much like the slug pictured at left in one particular aspect of his daily life...

He leaves a slime trail wherever he goes! Here is some evidence that he was in the kitchen recently.

Don't see what I mean? Scroll down to the closeup picture below.

Now, do you see it? This made me laugh -- so much so that I have decided to preserve his handprint for a few-days-more-worth of chuckles -- before I whip out my Orange Clean to wipe it away with a rag for good.

There was a time that this kind of thing would have infuriated me. As I have matured, I see these things as an opportunity for increased household humor. I know he appreciates my decision to laugh instead -- which is why he is willing to be such a good helper whenever I occasionally ask. The best advice I can offer to others who find themselves frustrated by such things is: You'll both live longer healthier lives the more you laugh at and enjoy these differences. Besides, no one loves a nag.

[The slug photo was borrowed from here.]

Does this ever happen to you?

2007-10-30T00:35:00.001-04:00

Do you ever use a product for a period of time, and then, it just kind of stops working? Like a favorite shampoo or conditioner? Well, this Degree deodorant has quit on me. It just doesn't last the whole day like it should. I begin to smell, what the man and I affectionately refer to as, "a little French". Yeah, I know that is not a terribly politically correct thing to say, but I do mean it affectionately. Really. Honestly, I tend to agree with people that Americans are a little too obsessed with deodorants, germs, etc. I don't really mind my smell, but I would like to earn it first, you know? Like if I don't shower for 2-3 days, I expect to smell a bit and that's fine. You can even sort of delight in the natural-smelling funk, I think. But a deodorant, by its very American nature, should last more than 4-5 hours in my opinion. I think it has something to do with this Invisible Formula not having as much oomph as the regular Degree. It was time for something new.

That said, on our recent trip to the grocery store, I bought some different deodorants. I saw that Degree had changed its look -- its probably the same shit in a new package -- but I am optimistically hoping that maybe they have improved the invisible formula and it will go back to working for me. I am giving them another chance to continue deodorizing my fabulous armpits because this one is "little black dress approved". Alrighty then, I ask you, how could I go wrong with that?

In the meantime, I also thought I would try out something completely different. I have seen the commercials for this Dove deodorant in which the "real women" tried it for 7 days and their underarm skin was softer, smoother when shaving and the deodorant was also not leaving any white crap on their clothes -- as evidenced by the voluntarily sporting of their current shirts inside-out for the cameras. Wow. Sounds good to me. But, another factor I consider in buying any new products (tell me if you do this too?), I have to smell-test things before I buy. Yes, you will find me in the grocery store aisle, popping off one deodorant top after another and smelling them to make sure they are not too "perfumey", or what I like to call "whoofy". I do this with shampoos, hairspray, whatever. I think it is a form of Product OCD that I do not want to be counseled for. I absolutely hate the intense baby powder smells of many deodorants. I dislike smells that are so strong that they would overpower what little perfume/cologne I may decide to wear that day. I like a nice mild scent that only smells when I choose to stick my nose in my armpit and smell it directly. (You know you do this, too. Don't lie!) So, I tried this new Dove Cool Essentials with Cucumber and Green Tea Scent, and, I am L-O-V-I-N-G, loving it! I have been smelling my armpits off and on all day and it has a perfectly mild, hardly-there scent, that smells great...oh yeah, and it has worked all day...I am not French at all! I endorse this product thus far. It remains to be seen how irresistibly soft my armpits become as a result of its ongoing use. I'll let you all know.

Now, everyone, go smell your pits! Fly that freak flag high! You know you wanna...

WooHoo! My Twitter shirt has arrived, but it's too small...Technically, that would make it a BooHoo.

2007-10-27T01:13:00.000-04:00

I tried to take a picture of my new (FREE!) Twitter T-shirt in the mirror, but then realized it was blurry...which is why I didn't bother to horizontal flip it for you bloggers to read correctly. This is my way of visually expressing how annoyed I am that I did not specify in my request for an XL that it be a MENS XL, not a WOMENS XL!

Okay, here's a better picture pointing the camera directly at my...ahem...twits.

Normally, these girlie-sized tees are fine -- if they are made in a stretchier fabric that gives a little bit when you need to move! And sure, I know the male bloggers (and some of the female ones, too) are probably not complaining about the way boobs look in it...But, it is not very comfortable to wear when you feel like you are in a hot brown straight-jacket.

I wrote Crystal at Twitter Support another email to request an XL MENS so that I can sleep in my Twitter shirt -- like I had originally intended -- comfortably. Hopefully, they will send me another one...Yes, mom, I asked them nicely!

I am boiling -- I need a cool beverage!

Some things I would trade for a spleen...I mean, a Spleenal action figure!

2007-10-25T20:11:00.000-04:00

This is a post for my blogging buddy, spleenal. He's swapping spleenal action figures (blank ones for bloggers to decorate themselves, and then, share pictures of their creations to post on his blog!) for neato things of your own. So, Spleenal, here's what I've got in lieu of splosh porn...

For the spleenal Christmas tree -- a handmade ornament from New Hampshire -- a wooden bluebird on a perch. Or, if you happen to be Jewish, he could hang out in a bushy houseplant just for fun? OR...

A funny little bug in a box, complete with wiggly legs that move when you shake him? OR...

A little wire wind-up robot that jumps around on his rubber-booted feet?

Whaddya think? I tried to think of cool little things of mine that were inexpensive (as per your guideline) while still fun...in the spirit of my toys for your toys!

Hiro Nakamura screen test.

2007-10-23T12:57:00.000-04:00

Ok, my bloggy friends, let's try this again...Starbuck's Song of the Day Swap, Sweetened.

2007-10-22T18:23:00.000-04:00

Since no one has stopped by here lately to take me up on my Starbuck's Song of the Day Swap offer -- I have gained another extra Song of the Day card. So, now we have 2, count 'em, 2 FREE songs to trade for other different songs -- OR, you can trade something else interesting! Whatchagot??

You people may force me to throw in a custom designed banner or Flash animation for your blog, but I hope it doesn't come to that...You'll have to be trading something pretty good for me to whore myself out! ;-D

Amazing moments in Karaoke!

2007-10-22T02:02:00.000-04:00

He needs to work on the physical aspects of his Axl impression, but the voice part is pretty great, considering the probable level of intoxication...